蓝鱼~驿站: April 2006

Saturday, April 29, 2006

出乎意料的一天

发觉我的泪腺可以很旺盛。。
刚才终于做到自己想要得事,那种我现在勉强有理由可以办的事。。。那就是叛逆。
泪流的愤怒,只有家人有那种能耐,让我受了委屈会哭的。。
自从去年尾班旅后,从未哭过,在那之前,我也是一年多没哭了呢。。
刚才一人搭了putra再转STAR去嘉雯家..途中笔下了心情。。现在平复了。。
"u are fooling urself to pan ni"
耀仲这样对我说。是啊,我是为了叛逆而叛逆,连转身就走的勇气都没有,我就是那么理智。
我承认,因为我清楚知道那是我的底线。
我是爱着我母亲的,就如她爱我那般。。我无法想象她的反应。。若我一走了之的话。
所以,我并不觉得那是不潇洒。。
年中考期间,竟然做出这样的事。。
德发职能~~~无奈的笑

出乎意料的一天

发觉我的泪腺可以很旺盛。。
刚才终于做到自己想要得事,那种我现在勉强有理由可以办的事。。。那就是叛逆。
泪流的愤怒,只有家人有那种能耐,让我受了委屈会哭的。。
自从去年尾班旅后,从未哭过,在那之前,我也是一年多没哭了呢。。
刚才一人搭了putra再转STAR去嘉雯家..途中笔下了心情。。现在平复了。。
"u are fooling urself to pan ni"
耀仲这样对我说。是啊,我是为了叛逆而叛逆,连转身就走的勇气都没有,我就是那么理智。
我承认,因为我清楚知道那是我的底线。
我是爱着我母亲的,就如她爱我那般。。我无法想象她的反应。。若我一走了之的话。
所以,我并不觉得那是不潇洒。。
年中考期间,竟然做出这样的事。。
德发职能~~~无奈的笑



Friday, April 14, 2006

此时,德发的身躯,只附着其半个灵魂.学会后的雨天里,漫无目的地游走校园.看见学长团在国志楼勤练步操,一群男生在雨中打篮球,心中又燃起了对中学生活的不舍.但,想想,就算我多呆几年,也无法摆脱理科第一班课业的束缚,它会是束缚,只因一切并不是我想要的...所以那么多年来,这方面的不如人,我不应觉得那算些什么...只是,身在江湖的我,却觉得自己该负些责任.可能是要对自己的选择负责任.既然选了,就要做好.跟着感觉走?我试了....但这三个月来,放纵的态度换来的现实压逼,心里会叹一叹..还是做回一个安守本分的中华生吧.(书虫)[[自己多年来所经历过的还不够吗?是自己没有好好地沉淀吧?所以,我恨不得坐在案前,把六年的记忆都写成书.]]可是,真不懂那种绚灿的小镇中学生活画面会否再次在我听课时勾走我的灵魂,随之换来老师的,那一连串非让我罚站不可的问题,尤其是那可恶的刘明华(数学老师).当朋友一一离去,我更是撑得吃力,益发陷入无力的状态.这是软弱吗?恐怕真的是.但我实痛恨现在的行尸走肉过度期!

不要说我想太多,我只需懂我的倾听者,我只想听见有朋友说他了解我时,我能狠狠地哭一场.余德发,我想问你,为何总是欲哭无泪.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Izzit this the 1st post in english?

em..write this blog in a contented condition...was so stressed for the past two weeks...hav to deal wif many things.. ..

was considering whether i am going to leave chong hwa and head to my dream U=>PEKING(beijing)UNIVERSITY(go sit enrolment test onli)...when settled all tat stuff(money+form+graduate cert+recommendation letter)..under d advice of few teachers..reluctant and then put off my mind to pos laju tat materials...and..for sure i was totally out of the situation(bout my study in claz) plus wei hao suddenly decided to li wo er qu...go help pursue his A-LEVEL...and he switches to economics too....

wat i mean is...erm...very dilemma lor...sometimes wish to stay there with no time limit...until i wan to quit..(frankly i relly no idea for the fact tat i'm approaching 18) but in clas,no baby,no gu zhe,no mp,no wen xuan, mun yee and mao and dlll...its different le...
yet i hav to take care of society d things, samudera...and den dunno y i take art for UEC...when everything dash against my life....relly exacerbated and decide to cast away...

despite i hav 三语 de essay(late work) to be done, agreed to treat wen xuan eat tong shui(pronouced by him as TUNG SUI)..1st time drive rounding the skul in my mum's CARNIVAL..and den go K-tar fetch my second sis...den get on vs car...go..EAT!!! get into a restaurant..ban mian de...a low cost and simple decorated d cafe..eat ah eat...call leng lui hui yee to ask her check JPA for me and vs..vs get le!! me and hwei yen so bak ci...go fill for accounatncy and economics...sedangkan we're science stream students.. =.= tat time i tot tat the show 寻找天使 start edi...ask vs fas fas back home open tv..but when get on car(in a lorong)..
deng!!both of d two entrance..blocked by a van and a black MYVI...uncivilised de ppl...den, so yu2 tat i rush into another restaurant..wanting d ppl to open NTV7 for me...but he refused...den i realise i onli got big notes to buy tat 1.6 soya bean...i do stg very yu...put tat drink back!!!

finally get out of the perangkap...and den back his home take clothes..go luu...go where??klcc? times?? (aiks kl ppl jus hav these choices)i said klcc but he speeding and missed the corner..suan lo..times..wat movies lerr...got V for vendetta and DONTOPEN UR EYES...!! i insist to take d ghost movie,though i know it is a cheap movie..jus hope can recall some memories of laz yr inside d cinema...but tis movie..relli cant make ppl gan dong like THE MAID(songapore movie screening las yr,stil remember the warmth...)

den hor...nothing to do le...go back kuchai lama eat lor...but we teenager ma, wan go where..i den ask him to DOU to desa petaling..to c c the place i live in d childhood..many yrs le..too bc and din even come back c...all things remain...indian sweet store..many many duno how to explain ler...eat liao den go eat TONG SHUI..so yu again...i took d DA BAO food into d shop,d worker remind me outside food r not allowed..i jus calm and said,,,i won eat it here..den ar,,,eat liao tao fu fah and 花生糊...deng...eat dao my stomach full dao...dou dunno tat duck.y can eat so much and remain no meat on his body.....den go halo cafe terserempak primary frens..wif a gal...and her MUM!! opps..jian jia zhang huh...

i changed d pendarfluor light in my room...keep on and off and on..change myself for 1st time..
jus now go eat taiwan food lorr...vs say wil ikut mei cui go taiwan in may...while i considering wan go indecmber not...guan mo tuan...lilian wan go eh...who want?? latest--mao wants..

yu wu lun ci le....tired+wan do hw+sis wan use....k la...stop here